Writings

Another love poem

Tinted petals like aphrodite pearlscolor palettes losing integritythe nature is somehow ours tonightwithout us calling for the trinity. But I guess we were alwaysembraced by the holy entitieswhile the darkness enforced usto shine in the gloom of calamities. Like the blackest of clouds rub each other’til the night’s surprised by the thundersI’ll make sure to […]

Twins

your laughs flow ahead of time and shine on my wedding frame your absence haunts the phase of life I didn’t even know your name I close my eyes and the clocks dissolve behind my lids you enlighten my shame beyond the time, in the mirror of space you and I look just the same.

Soliloquies about burning a bed

I could love you only a little more than I doif you had left the right side of my bedsmelling like pinã colada on a rainy sunday morningI’m mostly stitched lip to lip when a simulationof you wants me to say something aboutthe wildfire from last night, I’m mostlyfrozen on the side of the bed […]

God’s creations and molesters

offerings of innocuous love or friendshipeasily sets free benevolence fromthe heaven’s golden heartand then it usuallydoesn’t go wella vanilla skinned masculine wonderstretches his arms to havea handful of ambrosiadark clouds gather around his iristhe gods panicand hand over the femininenow aphrodite is nothing but a cheap thrillbent over on the kitchen tableand assaulted until there’s […]

Winter cries blue tears

the last time I saw youit was early winteryou still laughed at me forhaving my azalea patternedwoollen sweater on, not for the flowers,but because you were still warm as sun raysbringing a new day with them, fresh hope mellowingit to chamomile yellowyou never realized I was feeling the cold in my bonesand I could really […]

Sadomasochism under a poet’s desk

Off they go, bruised on love handles collarbones weak as toothpick figures off they go, levitating on the floor off they go, off they go outta their pain body then back into it with the shrill of sore throats and crimson thighs, those pubes on the floor are a sign, this room is a benign […]

My Demian

He pervaded my senses like crystal meth,like a lunatic I searched forthe end of this tunnel                               untilI bought a copy of Demian and read ittill it looked like an ancient religious textalways wide open on my bed likea therapist’s clinic door or a lover’s armsbut doc’s psycho-analysis gets lostin my entangled threads of pastor I […]

The demon watches a girl dying

She holds her chest in a way as if her hands cupped is an ancient chalice in which she’d pour viscous wine red as nobody has ever witnessed before. I wouldn’t understand her but simultaneously I would, for I am made of void and nothing breaks in me, but also I am the damage and […]

A love called “nothing”

Perhaps, it’s a name that breathes lifeinto the otherwise nonliving, I’m a solitarymass of sobriety and soul looking forsomething sative. A nameless, unidentified,unclassified thunder to my sensorium,bolting through the woods. I try to pick it uplike it’s my long lost child whom I birthedfrom a piece of my rib, but thatadorable bastard doesn’t like to […]

Crybaby

not your typical crybaby;nectar flows down my facial contourwith a pearlescent that makes youlook away and repent with yourface between your knees, the wayyou used to cry when you were a kidand when they screamed at your face“man up dude!”, you clogged yoursorrow ducts with gold and becamesaint; I slithered across your lashesand saw a […]

Blood moon

Last night I jolted awake at 3 am (again)and the room was dusty dark, tediousmatte black, and I suddenly wondered whyI never saw a single piece of textile on youever, that matched the fragment of last nightthat got stuck with my feral disposition,and I tried recalling the colors that vibratedaround your sandalwood skin: mustard yellow,vibrant […]

I swallow

Often, quite often, I am discourteous to time, and often (not so often but quite-) there is a layer of spoiled milk on my eyeball I am gone, far gone, with the wave of night summer breeze, there is a Norway winter inside me, if you listen to a bit closer, you might hear the […]

God is nothing but a mortal burnt in love

you don’t owe me anythingnot even love,                        empathybut I believe river always flowsdown the hills                        it’s the gravity we have it too, like an invisible,immeasurable electromagnetic fieldwhich holds memories of a handful ofpast incarnations like      branches              holding                      onto dead leaves, (you don’t remember them?)you feel them I bet…                                  like a coldness                                  stinging                                  at the back […]

Whipped cream

Elastic figures twisting like childhood strawberry candies and PTSD flashbacks. Burning like cheap firecrackers giving out more lung-choking smoke than light. Though, all that twists isn’t misleading, all that burns isn’t dead. It’s simple. The aftertaste,              the ashes,                       the residue,                                the disgust. They are bedsheet buddies with secrets and celebrations. I’m a […]

Purgatory

Every night is moonless, and every nightmare is red But to think of a girl whose flesh is not just beguiling It is pearl shaded, honey rubbed, silk covered heaven What has she got to make amends for? Here she is snow white with millions of dwarfs Here is she is fertile and they are […]

It’s been 911 days since I last saw you

The seasons don’t care what name you call it. What emotions you attach to them is irrelevant, isn’t it? I mean, the clouds are dark and heavy, its pouring, and you say it’s sad, but why should the nature care? And why should the trees care? (They’re grateful afterall) And why would the rainy days […]

Blessings

Nothing interests me more than those brown eyes of hisAnd the waves erecting my body hair when he passes byMy mother doesn’t understand this… this intoxication (She has never been in love/never been high)I wonder when she’ll get tired of suggesting me to stop loving him (Is she jealous?)”What’s the point?”You don’t understand, maIt’s all […]

He speaks the language of God

If I may venture to mention him in front of the worshipped I would say he produces electromagnetic waves out of a portal connecting dimensions He has me circling around his index finger He knows I’m creating a tornado becoming a tornado He says that’s okay, that’s about being more than mortal; He said he […]

Sophomore horrors

I’m so particular to those eyes. I’m seen by so many. I thought I’m invisible but I’m not. I’m clearly gazed at, and despised. I’m big, so big, I take a lot of space. I eat, and eat, and eat. I’m a war of hormones. I’m a pimple popper, disgusting, lacking femininity type of female. […]

As your lover

Thorn pricks are better than cashmere kissI’d rather walk down the aisle piled with red hot coal than flying among the darkest cloudsSinister looking witches all trying to be cute, girly, I don’t fall into the trapI won’t let you too, I love youBut I see you frost-biting me with pin drop silenceDisciplining meLove you, […]

3:33 AM

Cold sweat after a nightmareAnd a feeling of a nonexistent grip On my traces of sanityStreet lights creeping through sad blue curtains Laughing at meThe need to scream bubbling inside my speech-restraining throatThis is the time when my bed turns into a grave no one would visit And my soul is being tortured in unsettling […]

Restful moon

You should be resting right by my sideI will take you to the realm where Not a single soul is working for living Not a single heart is brokenWhere we’d do nothing but gaze the moon (yes the moon, cause the sun shines too much for our tired eyes) She’s less than half tonight (But […]

A permanent mark of love

There is a subtle yetcertain purity in loving youIn the thoughts of desiring the embraceI never hadIn the desire of being lovedwhile you’re warm in someone’s armsYet, loving youis a constant in my journeyAnd a force that makes me wake upevery morningAn unquenchable hungerthat caused me to bite my lip until it bled,and then wearing […]

Ocean waves

These days I feel like ocean waves. My emotions blue and restless, and invasive. My mind like the thrashing and groaning sounds you hear from miles away; consistently present, consistently sad. My thoughts like white foams; legends say a mermaid had sacrificed herself into the foams to save her lover who didn’t acknowledge her. My […]

My tongue is a pleasure

You had your neon green soul hangingout of your balconyready to grab on mortal pleasuressuch as summer peonies and strawberry shortcakesand I’m all here for it. I know the little things that make your chestfeel the pulses like carefree infantsyou know the nuances of love and pleasure,but this time you get an unfamiliar tasteand I, […]

Pity party

Venom soaked memories likethe gloomy purple lights creeping out ofa window at 3 AM, thousandtrippy eyes witnessing drug-high contemporary horror, horryinglike a cursed trivialized creature vomitingits impotency and burning tenderness, kindnessI cry acid tears with my face looking likethe cruelest creature you’ve ever seenI am relieved no one would pity such a beast. God, don’t […]

Tactile dreams

Averted senses hovering over my bedMy pillows warm from unquenched desireAfar stands a man I know so wellElectric whispers say to him, “I’m getting closer”. Galaxies compacted in a drop or a dotParalyzed heart bears a creative soulAnd this queen size bed is a universe nowAn apparent reality with a gaping hole. Viscous waves neon […]

Loved by Gods

You have no idea how much you’re loved. You found one person who was right for you, just one person, and you decided you didn’t wish for anything more than this. You found one person, after many trials and errors, you found him or her, who gave you security, who gave you balance, who vowed […]

Lilith

My oath to theeIs to embody thy temptuous spiritMy wish to theeIs to be known as your ardentworshipper, oh, my goddessMy mother and my one true desireLet me be corrupted just as you wereLet me grow two horns in the place of a crownLet me be at no man’s mercy, Eden would drownwithout meAt no […]

Figure

Years of distances and decades of differencesCenturies of stories which does no justice toThe eons of history.Now I feel eternity of love for a father figure, brother figure, mentor figure, lover figure,My soul in another figureOne with his spirit yet separated from his figureI am no more a figurine stuck in time, stuck in spaceI […]

My time is coming

My time is coming…Your body is a concoction of Eden’s apples and Aphrodite’s pearlsI say to the full moon through telepathic wavesMy time is comingThe moon is in my possession nowMy Luna, my lunaticShe professes to the galaxy that time doesn’t existBut in the nonexistence it’s all true, all mineThe world builds walls with sea […]

Wine

Pour up, sweetheartNothing is sweeterWhen you shimmer your soulLet your voice sink inMy chestSilence the shriek and howlI’ve been thirsty for lifetimesFor you to show your gloryExist, dear oneNothing is worth thanLoving youNear or farMine or notThis love ages like wineAnd I am mellowedI am mellowedI am mellowedForever.

L’appel du vide

Going to the extremes, reaching all the heightsPutting off the candle, and all the lightsTaking all those decisions you call a ‘risk’You call ‘absurd’, you call ‘suicide’. Japanese tea cold in my cupAnd I have no reason to act ‘nice’Green as matcha my jealousy shinesThis is how I now choose to rise. I choose to […]

Green

I often view this life of mine like it’s a well-used colour pallet. I, as a canvas, am coloured in every nook and corner, heavily and uniquely pigmented. From blood-red wounds to deep-blue melancholy. From pitch black darkness to purple-red trauma. Hot-red desire and red-hot abhor. Dull-grey numbness and vibrant-rainbow love. I am human full […]

Silence

Lullaby quiet as whisperAs continuous as subliminalStorming under bedsheetsThe darkness lurking among the pillowsA child who’s disciplined and degradedIn the rabble of reprobates and profanitiesYour silenceMakes her feel like a Goddess.

The Forgotten Archive

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